The Phoenix Project

First of all i would like to say that the Phoenix Project was beyond awesomness...beyond coolness...beyond anything I've experienced! It was like a dream. i truly felt who I was as a person and really connected with everyone... including SSN. I didn't realized how much my heart was blocked until masters started tapping me on my heart chakra. The 12 mile walk in Bill Grey Rd was life changing for me. In the beginning, you will have people around you and supporting you. Later on, you realize that you need to break off that link to be able to grow your soul. You need to focus on yourself. As the journey progressed, many thoughts were running in my mind. When i started to feel irritated, and thinking, "God, this is taking a long time." I immediately started to think positively and just focus on myself. It was hard considering i started to think about my life, how much I've been hurting and how much people hurt me. I also realized the barrier I had put up for myself to really 'block" these negative feelings and try to push them away. I have had so many of these deep emotional blockages that I was scared of confronting them until this training.

I feel I have resisted so much to the higher connection that during NPJD training, I apologized and was forgiven so easily. I never realized how easy it is to just open your heart. Once I got home, first breeze kicked in. I saw my mom, and she seemed upset. She was yelling and was just angry at something... or at me. I just went to her and gave her the biggest hug and she calmed down. But that's just a breeze, the wind started to pick up when I was in front of my center and I knew something was wrong. Sure CNN was an obstacle but it was something else.

My biggest wind...hurricane (let's just say)... is my center's situation. It's not good. I felt my fire getting smaller and smaller. Then i remembered, while I was doing my training that this wind does not have to blow out my light, it can make it bigger. My fellow phoenixi said (after I explained) "sometimes winds take a little flame and blow it into a roaring fire". He inspired me to do more and more. While I was helping another center, I decided I'll enjoy this storm and feel the fire burn more. I love my members, my center, and my wjn! They will always be a part of me and I'm with them. I started to focus more and more on how I can use my energy and I decided to just support members growth and make sure they are alright.

Yesterday, I had my real challenge. I did hong bo with another wjn from a different center and I was scared. I was terrified actually what store owners would say to me when I show them the fliers. I had spoken to my jyjn and he said to just tell the truth. He explained to me to just have confidence because I know the truth already. I still didn't want to do it but I had to! So as I went, I made first stop and I focused on DJ and began hong bo. They accepted. I was surprised they didn't asked about it and about CNN...so i kept going. I finished with no one asking me about it. I was so relieved. Then that night, we had Yeha training and it was wonderful. I was reunited with my fellow Phoenixi (minus one) but we were all there. We planned a beach clean up and we will be doing it on sunday. I'm so excited we're finally taking ACTION!!!

Another breeze came my way today. I had said something unintentional and they just reminded me of how I should watch myself and how I should act. I realized how much I need to change my habit because once i'm comfortable, i become more and more of my old self and I don't like it. I am so grateful of the reminder otherwise i will keep doing it and it will never change and i will never grow.

So to conclude this essay, I would say Good Night and have a wonderful day!!!

CJKU! ALWAYS!!!